Japans going to miss me

Goodbye is such a horrible word. Its such a heart breaking word to say especially when its forever. Until this week ive never said goodbye to someone knowing that i would never see them again. I miss oregon so much and can`t wait to go back so I was a little surprised when my eyes bursted with tears. My class held the sweetest little surprise farewell party for me. During which the class president gave a speech and presented my with a gift from the class. The captian of the baseball team also gave me a japanese flower clip thing from the baseball team, it was so cute, and the sweetest card i have ever read seriously something about im their angel and my smile spreads happiness to the whole class. After we took a ton of pictures together it was just so fun, im going to miss them! At the end they gave me a scrapbook and goodbye cards from everyone in my class. I cried for the second time that day on the train reading them. I will never forget class 2B! as long as I live


This year hasnt been easy but it sure has been worth it. When I think back on this year it all just seems like a dream. I know it doenst seem possible but in 10 short months tokyo has become my home.

I can`t help but feel a little distant from my friends and family in the states. Ten years from now we`ll be sitting around and someone will bring up some funny old story and everyone will laugh and say omg yeah i remember that but ill just be thinking what where was I , o i was in Japan and ill feel a little sad. But you know what I made SOOO many memories here that they dont know too so many things they will never understand but I will always have them in my heart.


This year ive grown up so much, Ive had so much fun, Ive cried, Ive almost died multiple times, got lost in the second biggest train station in the world, went to hawaii, attended a Japanese high school, and lived with a japanese family, made friends from all over the world and together we conquered Tokyo; but now its time for us all to say good bye.





Theres no doubt emi and anto know me as well as anybody could. Anto in a past life was an American I swear. I love her to death. Together the 3 of us could do anything. Theres no way i could have survived this year with out them. And o emi my lil thai girl. I dont know how many times I called her in the middle of the night with my problems and she always had encouraging advice to offer. Those two girls could talk me in to anything! we studied together, we broke the rules together, got lost, celebrated, cried, sang, danced, drank together! There will always be room for them in my heart.

This year just cant be described in a blog post so i wont try. this is my last update. I will arrive in Portland the day after tomorrow, but i will never forget this year and no matter how many pictures i show or stories I tell not a soul will understand what this year has meant to me. I just hope that everyone here knows how much i love them and how thankfull i am for their kindness.

Im goin to miss u josai!
im going to miss u emi , anto!
the boys that work at freshness burger on the corner ill be missin u
uehara omg ill miss u!
ms asano! i hope to c u again, i miss u!
aki-kun u too!
and of course the asai family i hope to always be a part of ur family! <3

-dont hit me, im just an exchange student.
dont laught and call me names
I dont understand a word ur saying
cuz im
not from this
country
(mine anto and emi song!)


Goodbye tokyo ill never forget u and i hope u dont forget me i carved my name everywhere i could so maybe u wont. but dont be too sad ill be back

love kel-chan

hahaha

日本の音楽＜３

steady and co. stay gold




rip slyme





^^^^^english lyrics^^^^^
Shined on by the sunset, enveloped by the twilight
Thrown about by the shaking wind, flowing, swept

Shined on by the sunset, enveloped by the twilight
Thrown about by the shaking wind, flowing, swept

Well, from sunset to sunrise, ah ah ah
Feel the sound just like this, we feel the surround
Until the night dawns
Well, from sunset to sunrise, ah ah ah
Feel the sound just like this, we feel the surround
Until the night dawns

When the clock hands turn around once, it's the beginning of the party, get together people
The setting sun, biorhythm
I can't go on living with theories
I want to feel it throughout my body
It's warm isn't it?
Why can't it be like this?
I'm gradually covered in darkness
Pursued by time, swept up in the times
I've grown to not feel anything
When I think like that, I quickly get scared
It's turned into a night that I can't be by myself
I'm lost in dancing
I do this, and the morning sun rises
The conversation returns to this verse

Well, from sunset to sunrise, ah ah ah
Feel the sound just like this, we feel the surround
Until the night dawns
Well, from sunset to sunrise, ah ah ah
Feel the sound just like this, we feel the surround
Until the night dawns

The sound drifts in soaring feelings and the twilight
A moment's conversation
When it starts, light the fire
It will continue on without end
I'm certain of this, so no matter where you go
Always light the fire again
A dancing mood beneath the moonlight
An amber miss, moon, see through
Breaking through, passing through

Hold me tight and don't be shy
Real love, fruitless loneliness
The tumult starts to calm down
Navigate to Sunset beach, yeah
The two of us slip away and ride on the (highway)
It won't come again, this original (Friday)
Melting into the night, tonight the night
I just want to be with you, watchin' you
Well, here we go
Acting like an (Iijuu) Driver
If I become the night wind, I'll always
Be flowing to my sound

Well, from sunset to sunrise, ah ah ah
Feel the sound just like this, we feel the surround
Until the night dawns
Well, from sunset to sunrise, ah ah ah
Feel the sound just like this, we feel the surround
Until the night dawns

Outside it's an unpleasant color for the morning
But my heart is moist, covered in smiles
Talking about something suits this night
Don't you just feel like we're all friends? (drink! drink!)
I lose myself, flowing through the seaweed
I'm embarrassed, but today I'm away from home to go to see you
A flock of mongoose, chewing on loneliness
I want to party, I'm bored alone
But the sun is butting in already
It snatches the light away from the mirror ball
There's no particular reason for it to be here
But for some reason it is
There's no reason

Yeah, everyone feelings this sound in the surround
Well, before you know it, from sunset to sunrise
Listening at daybreak
And listening up once again
Are you ready?

Shined on by the sunset, enveloped by the twilight
Thrown about by the shaking wind, flowing, swept

Shined on by the sunset, enveloped by the twilight
Thrown about by the shaking wind, flowing, swept

Well, from sunset to sunrise, ah ah ah
Feel the sound just like this, we feel the surround
Until the night dawns
Well, from sunset to sunrise, ah ah ah
Feel the sound just like this, we feel the surround
Until the night dawns

Well, from sunset to sunrise, ah ah ah
Feel the sound just like this, we feel the surround
Until the night dawns
Well, from sunset to sunrise, ah ah ah
Feel the sound just like this, we feel the surround
Until the night dawns

(i didnt write these i got them off the web)


more steady and co







and of corse
TERIYAKI BOYZ













The funky mokey babies have to be my fave but i already posted 2 vids on here. Also these are my fave bands but not nessasarly my fave songs cuz i just couldn`t choose. If you wanted to youtube it you could find more. Teriyaki boys are so effin funny they have alot of other great songs. Thier like japanese bestie boys i just put tokyo drift up cuz its the most well know song by them. Im not an expert on j-music and only know a few bands but even so hope u enjoyed these videos.

kel-chan

Japanese life

MY SCHOOL JOSAI UNIVERSITY SENIOR HIGHSCHOOL





HAHA A FELLOW EXCHANGE STUDENT DANCING WITH CLASSMATES


MY FAVE FUNKY MONKEY BABYS SONG

my weekend in pics cuz im too tired

friday i went to an international school for the day and meet some awesome people i also got lost in shinjuku. Everyone was partying like crazy
saterday planted rice in a rice paddy thats why i have that worker girl style going on lol
sunday went shopping and to dinner with yumi and toshi


and we ate so much suchi

petty courage

We still have just a little, in the palm of our hands
Here in the palm of my hand there isn't anything at all
struck by the rain, blown around by the wind
but I won't give up
but I don't want to give up so
surely someday I'll hold on to something
*We still have just a little, in the palm of our hands
Here in the palm of my hand there isn't anything at all
struck by the rain, blown around by the wind
but I won't give up, but I don't want to give up so
surely someday I'll hold on to something
isn't that right? Isn't that right?
Where did everyone go? I'm the only one left behind
God, if you can do it, return me once again to that innocent time
The unseeable future is scary, the expectations around me are scary
I'll escape into a page of an old dust-covered album
even so, even so a new morning will begin again
Waiting like this, like this, for night to come is sad so
the dream that seems to become timidly crushed
No matter how uncool it is
Like a crybaby I'll bathe in a rain of tears
Are the things I'm doing right now the things I really want to do?
Are the things I'm doing right now things that suit me?
backtracking or when I'm standing still, turning around
The hesitation in my heart and my conflicted emotions
The way home from the east exit of Hachiouji
The street where I look forward to being able to meet the family of my friends any number of times
The coddling of "but I'm comfortable"
Having the feeling of "is it okay like this?"
if I'm stuck, I want to change, with one step at a time to the time before
I was always searching for the place where I could be myself
Courage so small that it's pathetic, and hopes so big it was embarrassing
Carrying these forever in my heart
We still are just a tiny bit like this
Not understanding anything, not understanding a single thing, but still laughing together
holding hands, shoulders together
at the riverbed once again
at that riverbed from some time ago
we'll sing a song like this together

Well it ain`t no use to sit and wonder why if you dont know by now

When I look, both ways, as far as I can see, are just a labyrinth of dirty little alleyways. I stretch on my tiptoes trying to see the final destination of both paths... I know its impossible, but if I just knew the outcome wouldn`t the choice be so much easier?....


Im pretty certain by this point that one of the maladies afflicting me is the way I evince my cluelessness. I think so much, I can`t stop it- and the thing is I never figure anything out. It feels like it just takes me farther from understanding. Does everyone think this much?..does this make me sound sanctimonious? perhaps they just dont put everything up front-aren't displaying the fact that they have no clue whats going on... I do got a few quixotic thoughts rollin around in there but , but I don`t know what I want. Or What the answers are all I AM certain of is that I DONT KNOW; how is everyone else so sure?
Thats vague I know, but these thoughts get really deep, too deep for me; they just swim around inside my head day and night, They start to get tangled up and trip me slip me fuck me up. When I ignore them then they pile up real high waiting for a moment to drown me in them. I just don`t understand why this is, my life's not very complicated. Maybe when I`m back in Oregon I might be able to breath again and just maybe my mind will come back to earth; ill settle this all out later, or at least there will be alot of distractions;)


Time is so F`ed up, have u realized this? I dont even know what time is, and I hate the way this fake idea controls everything. Im somewhat convinced its not even real. People say o times passing so fast or omg its going by so slow... but it does, right?... If this is true then all of a sudden my time here turned slow-mo.



I`ve started to feel like being here is putting my real life on pause and have an intense need to be back in Oregon. Its not home sickness but restlessness I guess u could call it. At the same Time I can`t bear the thought of leaving Emmi and Anto. literally can not bear it, and thus I try to avoid it. I`ve met alot of people yeah but these girls have became such a big part of my reality its hard to imagine it without them. I know i haven't written about them in here but I plan to soon real real soon.


Outside of my mind out in the real world stuff goes on, yeah believe it or not. Now everyones focus is on the big festival! yippe!? idk. I was stubborn and managed to get involved with as little of the preparations and events as possible, because to the dismay of others I try to keep the public embarrassment to a minimum.
One thing that all the girls are involved in is the fan dance- thats what i call it;) Its a very very very long traditional japanese dance that involves a folding fan. Trying to learn this along with Emi and Anto is a straight up riot.(the other girls already now it) So the Pe teachers been teaching it to us while everyone else plays volleyball (i.e stairs at us) yeah u know... homie. Its a neat opportunity though especially besides a lil origami and calligraphy I havent experienced very much traditional Japanese art. There are some girls though that are very set on me being in the cheer leading performance, and only because I love and respect my teacher so much I crumbled, I finally gave in today. Ill let u know how this goes and its very likely u will be hearing being some complaints about it in the near future. I am so not a stoical person.

The SAT is also coming up, enough said on that for realzzzzzz.... I `d rather slave away in a rice field than think about THAT.

oyasuminasai, kels
catch ya on the flip side( or at pdx airport 2:30? :) )

心から

住めば都
今私は日本の習慣に慣れつつあります。例えば、おはしでご飯を食べます。傘をさしながら自転車を乗ることが出来ます。毎日通勤ラッシュの電車に乗って学校に行きます。嵐の曲も分かります。 にほんごの勉強を一生懸命しています。でもまだ、ネクタイは結べないし、豆腐は食べられません。時間がたつのは、とてもはやいです。日本への留学はとてもすばらしい機会です。だけどオレゴンの自然や家族や友達が少し恋しいです。でも日本大好き。
そして日本で沢山の留学せいに出会って、今私は世界中に友達が出来きたような気持ちです。
ゴールデンウィークを楽しみたいです！みなさんもhave a good golden week
キャルシー　
＋　友美より＜３　笑


FROM MY HEART

Once you live in a place and get used to it that place becomes your home. Now Im really starting to get used to Japanese life and culture. I can skifully use chopsticks, make green tea, ride my bike and use umbrella at the same time, and am also using the rush hour trains every day to school. and im giving all my effort in learing japanese, still though i cant eat tofu or seem to remember how to tie my necktie. This study abroad experiance has been woderful. Im so happy to have had this opertunity. This time is going by SOO fast, its alomst over but although its true ive learned so much and do like Japan i miss my familly and freinds from Oregon and it`s nature. Here in japan i meet a lot of exhange students from other countries and we became great friends. Im happy because i feel like i will always have friends all over the world

love kelsey

have a good golden week!





I also have a japanese blog on a site called mixi that many of my friends also have so today i decided to put my mixi post plus translation on here.

c u in NA-NI-NU-NI land!
kels

I just really love pudicura!

something about seeing an 80 something year old lady with pink hair brightens my day

Reading earlier today I came across the word hedonist, i`ve heard it before but I couldn`t exactly figure out what it meant. I was sure though that it has some kind of negative connotation just because of the ways I had heard it used but when i looked it up i found that its someone who believes that pleasure is the most important thing in life. and really i dont see whats wrong with that. I believe that enjoying ur self is the most important thing but not enjoyable memories of the past nor planing for ones in the future but right NOW....NOW is ALL that matters. I say this obdurately despite what anyone else thinks. Im the same way with money-money is to spend ok, it`s good for nothing else so what r u saving it for? Basically everyone should just do what pleases them regardless of criticism coming from ANYONE else; of course in respect and love of others. BUT ill stop philosophizing now cuz thats not what this blog is about.
P eace
L ove
U nity
R espect
Yesterday I went to the Opera, Yeah no joke, the Opera in Japan. The opulent concert hall was really something. It made me think about all the books ive read where people go to the opera up high in the boxes in corsets or those lil old fashioned glasses and even though I was in Tokyo and not London it still felt like that. unfortunately thats pretty much all I can say about it because I fell asleep. What a typically lame teenager I know blah blah but with the dimmed lights and the comfy vip seats the methodical piano melodies lulled me to sleep before the opera even started. The applause woke me and i was like what its over? the girl next told me that it was just intermission. After checking my face for drool I joined the students seated around me in conversation.

Because the school year only started April 4th im still getting to know my classmates. The girls are really chatty but besides quietly explaining to the dim-witted jock that sits next to me where Europe was during a test I hadnt spoken to the boys much more than good moring and what not. but i was still kinda sleepy so i turned back around in my seat and my eyelids were fluttering in between consciousness when the girl next to me keept looking at me and say beautiful hair yeah? beautiful hair... i was like what?...yeah assuming they were talking about the main character in the show we were just talking about but not really listening. Then I started to think and i was like WTF she has ugly hair and turned around to be like why do u like her hair like actually shes just ugly all around what r u talking about. Then all the boys looked at me and started saying stuff like yeah kelsey`s hair this and that. They were talking about me! of course I started blushing and that really got em going which made me blush more. Then the boy behind me asked if i Knew what karaoke was and if i liked it, only karaoke in Japanese happens to sound almost exactly like my favorite Japanese food so of course like an idiot i was all O yeah its my favorite thing to eat. Shaking their heads like what a shame they concluded I didnt know karaoke so then i told them my mistake and that actually I love going to the karaoke room/bar/club/party things which lead to what kind of music I like and ultimately asking me to go with them.
My new classmates are alot friendlier than last years and although it was a lil embarrassing Im glad yesterday happened Just because for the first time I really felt included

Today I went to Ikebukuro prolly the biggest coolest place for teens to hang out in Tokyo. Yeah guess who we ran in to... It was wierd lol
theres more to the story but this is already a long post and its late




ur kel-chan forever or until whenever

lots of raw fish

me gusta los domigos

I know ive been very vacillative about Japan and my life here, but on Sundays like this I truly do love it. I admit ive become a bit of a chauvinist, but can you blame me for feeling that Oregon's about a billion times better then this place in every way? or at least one way; trees, yes trees... Tokyoites don`t seem to know what those are. Hey bonsai trees dont count okay. I don`t mean to disparage a traditional art form or anything of the sort. They just don`t emit quite enough oxygen for me.





I usually spend my Sundays riding around on my sweet bike that my host dad lent me for the year. So when the rain and cold dont fetter me I go to my secret place, my secret bench; oh my ineffable bench. I spent so many Sundays searching for this place. Under an over pass a small alley road runs in to the intersection leaving a little triangle shaped piece of land left over thats not big enough to do anything with. This is the only public place I have found with grass and the best part is the cherry blossom tree that shades the bench. The purlieus of the bench is littered pretty badly and it isn`t exactly near my house, but I dont really mind the hour or so bike ride; im just happy to have my own lil place here. I remember the first couple months I was here and I would just ride around completely aimlessly unwilling to believe I couldnt find a park of some sort. So basically I just love sunny sundays where I can ride my bike to my bench and from there I can see Tokyo and I can think about it but it allows me to at the same time be detached from it. Then if I go a lil farther down the rode I can get an apple juice for 80 yen to drink on the way home at which time I always spend the time thinking, man this has to be the best apple juice. How monastic right, bike riding and apple juice; I miss the old days when thats what I did pretty much everyday. geeze am i just another person whining about the evanescence of childhood. It sure was great though, what if i dont WANT to grow up?...

have you ever ate squid jerky?

I got home late last night from our (yumis Yukas, and mine) very educational, wet, and exhausting three day trip to Kyoto. Kyoto is a place of tradition, natural beauty, and is filled with the remains of ancient Japanese history. It`s common for young girls to tour the city in the geisha getup viewing cherry blossoms weaving threw the cobblestone alleys that lead to majestic temples at the top of hills stopping every now and then at the little shops of cute old couples who serve bitter green tea and Japanese sweets made of cherry blossoms or ancho. I didn`t know to much about Kyoto before visiting but Ive always been intrigued by it, possibly by nothing more than the fact that its just the two characters that make up Tokyo to and kyo backwards to make Kyoto. Japanese are funny like that. Needless to say I was excited for the trip.
We went by skinkansen (or bullet train). I was pretty pumped for that It was my first time and it was cool shooting along a 200mph, but my eyes kept being drawn to the window despite yumis warnings and I soon had one of the dizzy headaches she described. We stepped off of the train in to the icy wind and the beginnings of a three day long rain storm. Come on- you knew that was coming right?... And so for the next three days we trudged slopping wet, teeth chattering from temple to temple to shrine to gold budha to ancient castle ect. ect. We tried our best at enthusiasm posing in front of the mot surrounded castle of some ancient shogun or whatever it may be with two very cold fingers forming a piece sign, my pink cheecks forcing an unattractive smile but really it just ended up getting my camera wet and honestly most the picutures look like crap cuz a gold budha just doesnt look that cool in the rain.



We did get done up like geisha though but only for pictures we didnt pay the extra to keep the clothes for the day obviously that would have only made the treks to the sites more miserable, although alot of other girls must have had thier hearts set on it cuz we watched as they slipped and wobbled on thier wooden shoes up the steep paths. The process of being turned in to a lil china doll was long, but fun and I was laughing the whole time at the strangeness of it all. By the end of it I was ready to whip out one of those bango lookin japanese instruments I was definitely about to start belting out some traditional japanese music and dance in that way that wearing a kimono inspires, you know flailing your arms about with the flowing material. I kept cocking my head and doing that lil giesha smile in the mirror and then laughing my ass off cuz it was so weird. You try looking yourself in the mirror with an asian starrin back.



With all that said my Kyoto experience was not the ideal one but I believe that we, being aesthetic young people made the best we could of it.

my itchy neck

I havent left the house in two days-I know how lame that sounds but hey right now taking care of my skin is like a full time job. Who would I be if I didnt get a 3rd degree sunburn while in Hawaii to ruin it all. Luckily it doesnt hurt anymore its just at that really really itchy stage. It was so bad that I couldn`t even bring myself to upload any post sunburn pics. This is the freckliest ive ever been. but I like sprinkly freckles not big blobby freckles that merge together and make ur face one big freckle only thats the kind I have now. Also now my back and shoulders are covered in freckles ive never had freckles there before... i still dont know what I think about that yet.
Last wednesday I missed a test at school so my teacher asked my host mom to give it to me at home. I put it off till like 6 today but once I finally finished the hour long multiple choice test and we graded it, it turned out that I actually did okay; only im sure not as good as Anto and Emmi they always got to one up me ;)
Other than that ive just been studying, listening to the reggae mix my host mom gave me the other day that I really like except for this one song called proposal that basically says will you marry me over and over again in a really annoying way, and just generally mopping around.
Its stupid cuz I just found out that besides the sat reasoning test you are required to take 2 sat subject test in order to apply to a few of the collges I want to apply to. So I chose the world history and Japanese test. The world history is gay because 50% of the questions are about before 500 ce its like seriously i thought we were talking more like 19th or 20th century because i have a pretty good grasp of that. Im bummed about having to learn about ancient history:( Another reason why Im becoming a study freak is although Im really good at understanding spoken Japanese and even ok at writing it reading it is really hard for me. I took a practice SAT Japanese Subject test and got all the listening questions right but then on the multiple choice I only got half. Its like I doubt the universitys will take into consideration that some students might have studied Japanese for years at school and by default know more kanji (japanese symbols) than me.
so this is my sunburn and sat rant. But on a better note im almost finished reading The electric koolaid acid test and its really intresting. Its funny cuz I was originally going to buy a book by aldous Huxley book barnes and nobel was all sold out, Then the electric koolaid acid test caught my eye because its so bright and ive been wanting to read that for over a year so I got that instead and It has a lot of refrences to aldous Huxley in it and now I really want to read the doors of perception

I want to run away to Maui and swim with big smiling sharks